Levi - I always appreciate what you write. You could have been talking to my son. Hell, you could have been my son with the exception of me always trying to be sure he knew he could love whomever he wished and it would be fine with me. I saddens me that boys and men who happen to have a strong “feminine” presence can’t just be accepted as they are. Stereotypes are stupid, and no one is born in a wrong body. I’m glad there are elders like you out there as a resource for young men like my son if and when they are ready to listen. I’m sorry your journey to get there was so difficult, and I hope you keep finding acceptance and strength. Your eloquence is powerful.
Thank you so much for your kind words—they truly mean a lot. It means everything to hear from parents like you who support their sons in being exactly who they are. Who just want them to be safe and happy.
Indeed it is ridiculous, and heartbreaking that so many boys and men with a strong effeminate presence are made to feel like they don’t belong. Especially in their own community. No one should have to fight for the right to simply exist as themselves.
I appreciate your encouragement, and I’ll keep speaking out. Messages like yours remind me why what I am doing is so important. Wishing you and your son all the best. 💙
Another post that feels like looking into a mirror. I fell into the same trap as you. If I were a woman, I wouldn't be gay anymore. All the ridicule from people that suspected I was would stop, and I wouldn't have to tell my family either. I even had a friend reach out to me, excited to tell me about how they were about to start hormones years ago. It was at a time when I was first questioning whether I should detransition. I tried to talk her out of it, but she's now joined the ranks of the female gay men. I detransitioned about 2 years ago. It was a lot harder than transition because everybody kept trying to talk me out of it, but life is a heck of a lot easier when you're not worried about passing.
I hear you completely. It’s heartbreaking how many of us were led to believe that changing ourselves was the only way to escape ridicule and rejection. Internalized homophobia is a powerful force, and I wish more people understood how it plays into these decisions. Detransitioning is definitely its own battle—people celebrate transition but question the hell out of going back. But you’re right, life is so much lighter when you’re not constantly performing. I’m really glad to hear you found your way back to yourself.
I truly appreciate your writing this. I am the mom of a young man who had trauma and depression that would not budge and landed on transition as the answer. He is deeply depressed and got into a very abusive relationship among other things. He identifies as a lesbian now. I have not affirmed nor disaffirmed just assured him/her that my love is unconditional. It is terrifying as a mom to watch him going deeper into the rabbit hole. I guess I am writing because I wonder if there is anything I can say although I fear there is not. He has been on hormones for over two years now which has made his issues worse and he is unemployable. I feel sometimes as though he is daring me to say something yet how can I without losing the fragile connection we have right now. We were always close before all of this.
Levi - I always appreciate what you write. You could have been talking to my son. Hell, you could have been my son with the exception of me always trying to be sure he knew he could love whomever he wished and it would be fine with me. I saddens me that boys and men who happen to have a strong “feminine” presence can’t just be accepted as they are. Stereotypes are stupid, and no one is born in a wrong body. I’m glad there are elders like you out there as a resource for young men like my son if and when they are ready to listen. I’m sorry your journey to get there was so difficult, and I hope you keep finding acceptance and strength. Your eloquence is powerful.
Thank you so much for your kind words—they truly mean a lot. It means everything to hear from parents like you who support their sons in being exactly who they are. Who just want them to be safe and happy.
Indeed it is ridiculous, and heartbreaking that so many boys and men with a strong effeminate presence are made to feel like they don’t belong. Especially in their own community. No one should have to fight for the right to simply exist as themselves.
I appreciate your encouragement, and I’ll keep speaking out. Messages like yours remind me why what I am doing is so important. Wishing you and your son all the best. 💙
Another post that feels like looking into a mirror. I fell into the same trap as you. If I were a woman, I wouldn't be gay anymore. All the ridicule from people that suspected I was would stop, and I wouldn't have to tell my family either. I even had a friend reach out to me, excited to tell me about how they were about to start hormones years ago. It was at a time when I was first questioning whether I should detransition. I tried to talk her out of it, but she's now joined the ranks of the female gay men. I detransitioned about 2 years ago. It was a lot harder than transition because everybody kept trying to talk me out of it, but life is a heck of a lot easier when you're not worried about passing.
I hear you completely. It’s heartbreaking how many of us were led to believe that changing ourselves was the only way to escape ridicule and rejection. Internalized homophobia is a powerful force, and I wish more people understood how it plays into these decisions. Detransitioning is definitely its own battle—people celebrate transition but question the hell out of going back. But you’re right, life is so much lighter when you’re not constantly performing. I’m really glad to hear you found your way back to yourself.
I truly appreciate your writing this. I am the mom of a young man who had trauma and depression that would not budge and landed on transition as the answer. He is deeply depressed and got into a very abusive relationship among other things. He identifies as a lesbian now. I have not affirmed nor disaffirmed just assured him/her that my love is unconditional. It is terrifying as a mom to watch him going deeper into the rabbit hole. I guess I am writing because I wonder if there is anything I can say although I fear there is not. He has been on hormones for over two years now which has made his issues worse and he is unemployable. I feel sometimes as though he is daring me to say something yet how can I without losing the fragile connection we have right now. We were always close before all of this.