Peace This Holiday Season
Post Trans Mental Health Tools
It’s the holiday season, whether you're religious or take a more secular view, this time of year can be both stressful and isolating for many. Mental health is everything, and during this season, it’s crucial to keep an eye on it.
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the sense of isolation my fellow detransitioners sometimes face, particularly around the holidays. The season's challenges, coupled with the lack of resources, and care specifically tailored to detransitioners’ needs, can make the journey feel even more overwhelming and often down right isolating. By sharing some tools I use, I hope to offer a sense of comfort and connection to others walking a similar path this season.
Before I even began reimagining my body or found the support of a therapist I deserved, I knew this journey would require a profound internal shift and a great deal of patience. From the initial questioning phase to a year later when I finally vocalized that I needed help, and eventually taking active steps to socially re-transition, I started building a daily self-care practice. Like many detransitioners navigating with a lack of resources, I’ve had to piece together my own path.
Through group therapy, I’ve come to appreciate the wisdom in a phrase borrowed from AA: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” In the context of mental health and detransition, for me this idea has become a powerful reminder that encourages prioritizing self-care, focusing only on what you can handle, and giving yourself permission to learn to trust yourself and rest when needed. In many regards this certainly is a valuable mindset to develop.
One of the first things I committed to was setting aside time each day to sit with myself in mindful stillness. It’s not always at the same time, and it still isn’t. Sometimes it’s just 5 minutes, other times 15. The key is making mindful stillness a daily practice. When I start my day with it, it helps me avoid stepping into the day with chaos. When I use it throughout the day, it provides a refuge from that chaos. No TV, no screens, no distractions—those things will still be there later. It’s just me, focusing on my breath and letting everything else fade away.
Stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found. — Eckhart Tolle
Mindful stillness offers many benefits:
Reduces Stress: Activates the relaxation response.
Improves Emotional Health: Aids in emotional regulation and resilience.
Enhances Focus: Improves attention span and cognitive clarity.
Boosts Physical Health: Can lower blood pressure and improve overall well-being.
To practice mindful stillness:
Find a quiet, comfortable space.
Sit with your back straight and simply focus on your breath.
Gently let go of distractions and return your focus to the present moment.
Another tool I embraced—or, more accurately, re-embraced—was the Serenity Prayer. It’s actually my favorite, though I hadn’t made time for prayer in years. Also often associated with recovery programs, its opening lines calling for serenity, courage and wisdom hold profound value for mental clarity, which I feel is particularly meaningful for detransitioners. For me, these words became an anchor as I navigated the fog of confusion and self-doubt during the initial period of distress and has remained a steady source of clarity for me.
I’ve found that mindful stillness provides the perfect starting point for reciting my own adapted version of the Serenity Prayer. Which gives me the space to reflect on my experiences, helping to create a sense of grounding and clarity in my life. Of course use your own adaptation to suit your own needs.
The first few lines of this adaptation read:
Grant me the serenity to accept the choices I made when I was lost,
The courage to reclaim the man I was always meant to be,
And the wisdom to embrace my identity with pride and dignity.
For someone like me, still grappling with the enormity of my past decisions and the road ahead, this simple prayer offers a daily framework for clarity and acceptance. It reminds me that while I can’t undo my past choices, I do have the power to change my future. More importantly, it encourages me to focus on what was within my control rather than getting lost in regret or despair. It’s about cultivating acceptance, action, and wisdom. Through this practice, I remind myself that I don’t have to be defined by the past and neither do you.
In closing, as we navigate the holiday season, let’s remember that we are not alone in our struggles, even when it feels that way. Whether through mindful stillness, prayer, affirmation, contemplation or simply reaching out to someone who understands, there are ways to find connection and clarity during this time. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time on your own terms.
To my fellow detransitioners, and to anyone facing feelings of isolation or self-doubt this season, I encourage you to prioritize your mental health and lean into practices that ground and nurture you. These tools can be adapted to fit your personal beliefs—whether you lean toward spiritual practices or prefer a secular approach, what matters most is taking care of your mental health.
It’s through these small, consistent acts of care that we can begin to rewrite our stories and embrace the strength within us. You are not alone. Wishing you all peace, clarity, and moments of joy this holiday season.
NOTE: Thank you for choosing to spend some time reading my blog, it means the world to me. I will be breaking from posting over the next week or so and look forward to sharing new content and features with you in the new year.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, and the information shared in this article is based on my personal experiences and reflections. If you are in distress or struggling, I strongly encourage you to seek guidance and support from a licensed mental health professional. These suggestions are not a substitute for professional advice or treatment.