Writing Through the Pain:

Healing with Written Exposure Therapy.

When I first contemplated the process of detransitioning, I thought the hardest part would be how the adjusting how the world saw me. What I didn’t anticipate was how deeply my unhealed childhood trauma would intertwine with my journey. My therapist at the time put it bluntly:

“Yes, detransitioning sounds logical for you, but if you do not work on your childhood trauma, that is what will eat you alive.”

Those words stuck with me and became the catalyst for a healing journey I didn’t even know I needed. I didn’t realize how deeply wounded I truly was.

That’s when she introduced me to Written Exposure Therapy (WET)

What is Written Exposure Therapy?

WET is a short, structured therapy designed to help people process trauma through writing. Unlike traditional talk therapies, which can be intimidating or emotionally overwhelming, WET focuses on confronting painful memories in a manageable, time-limited way.

The standard protocol involves five weekly sessions where you write for 20–30 minutes about a specific traumatic experience, exploring the emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations tied to it. Perfection isn’t the goal—it’s not about grammar, punctuation, or eloquence. It’s about releasing the most difficult feelings surrounding the event and allowing the memory to lose its power over you.

For me, this structured, focused process was a game-changer. I adapted the protocol to suit my needs, doing four shorter sessions (15–30 minutes each). This flexibility allowed me to stay engaged without feeling overwhelmed.

How WET Helped Me as a Detransitioner

As someone starting the detransition process, I knew I had layers of trauma to unpack. I needed more than just an hour of talk therapy once a week. Growing up, I endured physical and sexual abuse, bullying for being a sensitive and feminine boy, and an identity that often felt at odds with itself. These experiences weren’t just memories—they were wounds that shaped every aspect of my life.

Through WET, I confronted these painful moments head-on. Writing about them repeatedly didn’t just help me remember them—it allowed me to process and neutralize their hold on me. With each session, the grip of shame and fear began to loosen. I started to see my past with greater clarity and less emotional intensity.

WET hasn’t just helped me heal—it has given me a voice. Writing through my pain became a lifeline and eventually the foundation for the blog you’re reading now. It taught me that even the most painful stories can hold power and meaning.

How WET Can Help Anyone in Distress

While WET was integral to my detransition journey, I believe its benefits extend far beyond. Trauma doesn’t discriminate. Whether you’ve experienced abuse, grief, identity struggles, or any other hardship, WET offers a structured, accessible way to confront and work through those experiences.

What makes WET unique is its simplicity. There’s no need for complicated assignments or emotionally taxing discussions. You don’t even have to share your writing with anyone. It’s just you, your story, and the courage to face it.

How to Get Started with WET

Here’s a simple guide to using the WET protocol:

1. Choose a Trauma to Address
   Pick a specific traumatic memory to focus on. This could be a single event or a recurring experience that’s causing you distress.

2. Set a Time Limit
   Dedicate 15–30 minutes per session for writing. Set a timer to help keep the session focused and contained.

3. Write Freely
   Start writing about the event in as much detail as possible. Include emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations tied to the memory. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar—it’s about raw expression, not perfection.

4. Repeat Across Sessions
   For four to five sessions, revisit the same traumatic memory, writing about it each time. This repetition helps desensitize you to the emotions and reframe your understanding of the event.

5. Reflect, But Don’t Dwell
   After each session, it’s important to take time to breathe and ground yourself. You don’t have to reread your writing unless you feel ready. What matters most is giving yourself space to process and decompress before jumping back into your daily routine. Personally, I’ve found that reflecting works best for me after I’ve completed all the sessions. I like to compare them, noticing how my handwriting may have changed, the flow of my thoughts, and the clarity of my emotions over the process.

Writing as a Path to Freedom

For me, WET is more than a therapeutic tool—it’s a form of liberation. It taught me that healing isn’t about erasing the past but finding the strength to confront it and carry it differently. In a more neutralized, controlled way. At least that is my experience.

If you’re struggling with trauma, whether it’s related to detransition or something else, I encourage you to consider WET. Start with a pen and paper—or even a blank document—and let the words come. It might feel strange or impossible at first, but trust me: there’s freedom to be found in it.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, and the information shared in this article is based on my personal experiences and reflections. If you are in distress or struggling, I strongly encourage you to seek guidance and support from a licensed mental health professional. These suggestions are not a substitute for professional advice or treatment.